Answered by Shaykh Abul ‘Ataa Ahmad Banaja (may Allah preserve him)
How should one hate Kuffar (the disbelievers) for the sake of Allah, while he contacts them and lives with them? Are we allowed to live with them? If so, how can we do complete Al-Walaa Wal-Baraa to Kuffar (disbelievers)?
Imagine, your mother or father, is among the disbelievers. So, if you apply ‘Al Walaa wal Baraa’ according to the way of complete ‘Baraa’ which means abounding them , without any consideration, then there is a big conflict, between this and the way you should approach disbelieving parents as Allah has ordered us in the Quran,
“وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا ﴿١٥﴾ سورة لقمان“
“But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness”
So, from this we know, ‘Al-Walaa wal-Baraa’ for Ahluh Sunnah (people of Sunnah) is about the Kufr (the disbelief) completely always, but as for the Kafir (the disbeliever) it depends.
So Here we say, be good to your Kafir parents but you do ‘Al-Walaa wal-Baraa’ with their faith and when they order you to do Ma’siyah (disobeying Allah). If they order you to do Ma’siyah, you are not allowed to obey them because to obey them in this case is conflicting with the ‘Al-Walaa wal-Baraa’ in islam.
Another example is marrying someone from Ahlu-Kitab. It is allowed in Islam to marry women from Christians and Jews, with specific conditions so, if someone married from Ahlu-Kitab, he must be good to her in terms of his wife but he must have ‘Al-Walaa wal-Baraa’ to her faith etc… And he must continuously call her to Islam. It’s part of him being good to her, to show and advice to the correct faith.
Note : The understanding of ‘Al-Walaa Wal-Baraa’ for Ahluh-Sunnah Wal-Jamaa’ah, is not the same understanding as the Khawaarij and the Juhhal Murjiah (Ignorant Murjiah). (Murjiah are those who believe that Faith is only in heart and will not be affected no matter what he does)
And there is no better explanation for ‘Al-Walaa Wal-Baraa’ then the Quran and the Sunnah, so Look at these glorious Ayahs from the Quran :
لَّا يَنْهَاكُمُ اللَّـهُ عَنِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يُقَاتِلُوكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ وَلَمْ يُخْرِجُوكُم مِّن دِيَارِكُمْ أَن تَبَرُّوهُمْ وَتُقْسِطُوا إِلَيْهِمْ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّـهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُقْسِطِينَ ﴿٨﴾ إِنَّمَا يَنْهَاكُمُ اللَّـهُ عَنِ الَّذِينَ قَاتَلُوكُمْ فِي الدِّينِ وَأَخْرَجُوكُم مِّن دِيَارِكُمْ وَظَاهَرُوا عَلَىٰ إِخْرَاجِكُمْ أَن تَوَلَّوْهُمْ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَلَّهُمْ فَأُولَـٰئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ ﴿٩﴾ سورة الممتحنة
“Allah does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes – from being righteous toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allah loves those who act justly. Allah only forbids you from those who fight you because of religion and expel you from your homes and aid in your expulsion – [forbids] that you make allies of them. And whoever makes allies of them, then it is those who are the wrongdoers.”
From here you know, the Kuffar in general, are two types. So, the parents, brother, wives, and relatives and likewise if they are just with you and doesn’t fight with you will be from the first type.
And someone might ask, what about this Ayah:
لَّا تَجِدُ قَوْمًا يُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّـهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ يُوَادُّونَ مَنْ حَادَّ اللَّـهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَلَوْ كَانُوا آبَاءَهُمْ أَوْ أَبْنَاءَهُمْ أَوْ إِخْوَانَهُمْ أَوْ عَشِيرَتَهُمْ… ﴿٢٢﴾ سورة المجادلة
“You will not find a people who believe in Allah and the Last Day having affection for those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even if they were their fathers or their sons or their brothers or their kindred…”
We say, Allah has mentioned in the beginning of the Ayah “مَنْ حَادَّ اللَّـهَ” (who oppose Allah), meaning, you cannot love your father, mother, or others, if they are ENEMIES to the religion. Means, they fight you for example in battle, they confront you, against Islam, don’t run away. Don’t be lenient and kind to them in this situation because they are your family. Rather fight with them, its Jihad, there’s no difference in between them and others They all are disbelievers, and now they are enemies of Islam.
So, if you have a roommate who lives with you , doesn’t harm you or disturb you in your religion, you might be the reason for his guidance.
So, there are certain kind of disbelievers who we can give Dawah and others whom we must defend our Deen from them. You shouldn’t always be defensive while dealing with Kuffar. We do not debate and attack the Kuffar always, at the same time we do not treat them softly at all times. So, you must understand the differences. This is the details which the Ahlusunnah has mentioned.
This is why we disagree with Khawaarij, that – they go and blow-up the Kuffar in general and say they are the enemies of Islam. They name them as “lonely wolf”, and take a truck or a bomb , and kill dozens of children and women without exception.
This is totally wrong, and the reason is, they misunderstand the correct meaning of Al-Walaa wal-Baraa and Sometimes, this will cause for some Muslims to be killed also, and they claim that was a revenge…, revenge from whom from the innocent civilians ?! As The governments is not affected by these kind of acts. Rather, they use these kind of acts to prove they are right and Muslims (in general) are extremists ?!!
قال ابن تيمية -رحمه الله- في منهاج السنة
إنهم -الخوارج- شر على المسلمين من غيرهم فإنهم لم يكن أحد شرا على المسلمين منهم لا اليهود والنصارى فإنهم كانوا مجتهدين في قتل كل مسلم لم يوافقهم مستحلين لدماء المسلمين وأموالهم وقتل اولادهم مكفرين لهم وكانوا متدينين بذلك لعظم جهلهم وبدعتهم المضلة
Shaykhul Islam Ibn Taymiyyah رحمه الله mentions in Minhaj Ah-Sunnah:
Indeed they -the Khawaarij- are worse upon the Muslims than others. There is no one worse to the Muslims, than them, nor the Jews and Christians. They are eager to kill any Muslim who doesn’t agree with them, they allow the blood of Muslims to be spilled and their wealth. They kill the children of Muslims claiming they also are Kuffar, and this is because the greatness of their ignorance and their deviant innovation.
This is the statement of ‘Ulamaa regarding the Khawaarij, long time ago. And today also, the scholars are continuously warning against this corrupt ideology because of the same damage and effect.
By Allah I say, no one destroys the Dawah and the Image of Islam, the Scholars and the Muslimeen better than the Khawaarij do, while being among Muslimeen.
Maybe lots of them don’t have this intention to destroy, but this is the final result. Its because of their ignorance.
Allah said in the Glorious Quran:
“قُلۡ هَـٰذِهِۦ سَبِیلِیۤ أَدۡعُوۤا۟ إِلَى ٱللَّهِۚ عَلَىٰ بَصِیرَةٍ أَنَا۠ وَمَنِ ٱتَّبَعَنِیۖ”
Say, “This is my way; I invite to Allah with knowledge, I and those who follow me.” [Surah Yusuf 108]
Look at the damage they have caused. Look at the children and the women. Who will be responsible?! Who will take the blame of this massive damage in many muslim lands?!
Ibn ‘Abbas once said to the Khawaarij: “You follow who? No one from the companions are from you.”
We say the same to the Khawaarij. All the scholars of the Ummah disagree with you. Whom you are following?! Who are with you ?!
May Allah protect all of us and make us firm upon His Deen. Aameen!